Ack.

Summer.
Sun-mer.

Won't I like to take a dip in the Mer.
But I got sunburnt last few days, and my shoulders are red, hurts to towel down after a shower.
Damn.
Land-scaping sucks, and did I mention my homework load?

I hate teaching now. Students are ungrateful and unreasonable. I will refrain from teaching Summers-- most students assume it would be "easy" and expect grades they don't deserve, and some pester me to give them higher grades. What the Hell is the world coming to?! I hate people who trys to get something for nothing.

Furthermore, there are some students (as some people have told me) that they want to lodge complaints as to my teaching skills, that I was a bad tutorial leader, because they got a bad grade in the course. Um, that's funny, because there are a majority of students who tend to disagree, and I think those who complained are insecure-- if they cannot understand anything, and refuse to ask me to clarify for fear of looking stupid, then, blame themselves, not me.

I have made ample options for them to ask me questions 'before' and 'after' tutorials, and even open the 'email me' or 'custom appointments' options to them. Some of these students are so immature, they lash out to hurt you personally. I heard some student said that this student, in passing, made a remark that I was behaving unprofessionally ( i.e. flirting) with said student and another. It is horrifying to hear that, not only is that untrue, it is also insulting to my level of aesthetics and professionalism. That level of callousness that in order to get a grade change, said student tries to destroy my reputation and career, just because. What I hate is the fact that, the evil and sneaky ones can pretend to be "oh so victimized" and cry crocodile tears to claim victimhood and manipulate other people's emotions, but what about me? Who gives me a fair ear in this matter? I am so upset that I can't even cry.

Rule #1: Don't T.A. if you can afford it. Being poor sucks.

That being said-- if you cannot afford otherwise (like me) then...

Rule #2: Avoid Summer sessions because some students think that they can slip by on the easy, because "it's Summer", and they expect reward for their laziness.

Rule #3: Trust gut instincts, if you feel that there is a psycho-student, be careful. Only interact in proximity to witnesses.

Rule 4#: Don't be overly nice, it doesn't pay to be overly nice so as to be considerate to student emotions, because they will try and take advantage of you or invent rumours in the shadows.

Rule 5#: Do not give benefit of the doubt. No one really cares about anyone but themselves. Period. I am revising my way of life to no longer put others before me, or strive for the ideal of serving my fellow humans.

Some people tells me to not lose my integrity over this, and I am unsure about it. Do I want to be crucified over this? Keep my integrity and may get 'screwed' professionally by a psycho, or give in and let said psycho get points undeserving? What do you think?

Worse of all--
I suspect someone in school is reading my blog, and have been too chicken shit to write comments, I think they are using it as Ammo (Gossip) behind my back (and then 'stab'). So I guess they are prolly dancing with joy that this is happening to me. People will do anything to anyone just so they can get ahead. Should I become like them?

Why do people lie? It's so annoying, especially when it's to my face. I'm not dumb, I know they are lying, but it really pisses me off that they think they can get away with it-- it's insulting to my intelligence, and very presumptious about theirs.

At the very least, I am trying to come to terms about the ugly side of Humanity. Some one dear told me that these people are hurting and damaged so they lash out to hurt others, but really, that's not fair. Why do they have to hurt innocents? Because they 'can'?

The concept of Justice needs to be redefined.

I long for the days when the world is cleanly dichotomized into the Evil and the Good, now the morass of Gray is making it worse for everyone, because no one has any standards to measure what is 'ethically' right or 'wrong'-- it is no longer "Cool" to be ambivalent, it's just greedy people trying to justify their selfish actions.

I think it is just abusage of rhetorical sophistication where the wrong actions are given a dilemmic spin so it confuse and troubles us. Perhaps the first notion to all judgement and critique is "the Ends does not Justify the Means". I think with that notion, people will be able to get alittle better grasp of the situation. It applies to the angry avenger punishing the bad guy, and the bad guy who does bad things which provoked the rise of the avenger as well.

Ah well comic book dreams ....